Independent Women: Good, Bad and Nothing Ugly

People around me often talk about being nice, being good, being crazy, being weird, being this and being that. There are also these sporadic occasions when we talk about being ourselves by shedding the cloak that has ‘I am so cool’ splashed across this intangible robe.  And most of us having these conversations turn out to be independent women. And being ourselves has a lot to do with being independent. Here’s why:

Gain perspective on life: It’s understandable that we need family, friends and other supporting characters to shoot a film that we script every single day. But hey! Have you ever tried travelling alone or taking a walk by yourself to learn about what’s gone by and where you could be possibly heading? I’ve done it a lot of times, and it makes me happy because I can introspect and feel confident.

As an independent woman who is self-reliant, I don’t need to depend on someone to travel with me even if it means I have a day or two to spend in a train. What are books for? It’s the only chance I get to step into the shoes of multiple characters despite living only one life.

Take control and cultivate confidence: However complex a circumstance may be, many a times, an independent woman finds it easier to take control of the situation. Why, you ask? Simply because she’s been in control of her life for quite a while now. She isn’t scared of losing anything. She reasons, takes a risk and accepts what cannot be changed.

There are times when I wish I weren’t independent at all so that someone else could tell me what to do, guide me through. But what’s most refreshing is when you know you’ve taken that decision and you’re accountable for your judgement, not your father or mother or your uncle or even your grandfather. And I can’t take control of anything if I haven’t injected confidence in myself. What do you think?

Be Yourself: Recently, I stepped out for lunch with a colleague who in a week’s time will be remembered as a former colleague. As we drank some steaming soup and indulged in a delicious Chinese meal, we also talked about us – How we grew fond of each other, how working together was so much fun and that someday, hopefully, we might get a chance to work under one roof again. He said one more thing, and that’s something I can’t come to terms with. He said, if I want to win more hearts and impress at my workplace, I should stop being myself. “While it’s good to ask questions to attain better clarity, it’s also advisable to find your own answers.” Wait… whaaa?

Ever since, I’ve looked at ‘being myself’ as an independent woman problem. This list does not end here. While this is my perception about being independent, another discussion with my gal-pals narrated another story. We are also perceived to be…

Intimidating: No matter if the walls in my room tremble with my roaring laughter, I am invariably told that I come across as an intimidating woman. But I do make it a point to smile. How then does this make me intimidating? In my defence, I find the world intimidating!

Opinionated: We (my girlfriends and I), are strong believers of having informed opinions. Here’s where extensive reading plays an important role. At least, it’s better than being indifferent to a situation. How can you take control of a situation of your unable to come to some sort of an agreement with your thoughts?

A bunch of loners: All right. I am financially independent, I take my own decisions, I don’t mind going to the movies alone, and I can sit in a coffee shop and read a book. I can also take a walk by the beach, sit by the shore and write something. I can draw up a travel plan for myself, invite others, and if they’re caught up with something important, I can set out alone. And that makes me a loner.

Like many other independent women, I live in a hostel where I socialize with other ladies belonging to various professions. At work, we mingle with each other. How then, does a woman who can stand for herself, and even you, when you betray trust, be called a loner?

Like anything under the sun, even being self-supporting has its pros and cons. But hey, can we reflect more on the pros so that we can design our destiny rather than employing destiny to take charge of our lives?

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